Went to the supermarket called Intermarche the other day, had to get some ingredients to make Sweet and Sour Pork Hong Kong Style. Just the basics, peppers and onions, who knows, maybe even get some pork.

I already had a 300 gram jar of Safesburys Sweet and Sour sauce. Sounds right easy does it not.

WRONG

Try buying fresh ginger over here and you will find that not only do they not sell it, they will give you a funny look into the bargain and have the audacity to ask you what you want it for. Like they've earned the right to know.

LUCKILY

I knew that I would be able to get the fresh ginger from Asia Center, a foriegn foods supermarket that sells chinese, indian and english food at import prices. I usually go there for PG Tips and come away with all sorts of spicy stuff.

ANYWAY

Back at the Intermarche, I browsed as you do, looking for that "new thing to eat". Not always a succesful pursuit, nevertheless it is a pursuit that I pursuingly pursue. Glancing at the throw Marge I happened to notice one called Boursault in a shaped carton. By poking my finger through through the large gaping holes either side of the carton I ascertained that this was a very soft, very greasy piece of cheese. Stick it in the basket and buy it.

LATER

I was looking in the fridge chez moi and I found the Boursault wrapped in greasy, greaseproof paper (the carton had been thrown away by one that deemed it to be too awkward and bulky and especially non-conformist to be allowed to linger in the fridge) and decided that it was now or never, time to taste the cheese.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

A right fucking tasty peicacheese. I unrolled the greasy, greaseproof, paper wrapping and found a cheese that seemed to be covered in furry wax yet wasn't. I checked the softness by slowly dropping my knife through the creamy substance that winked at me enticingly. I had heard of people who fucked butter and it dawned on me immediately in a flash of revelation that Ray had never known about this cheese. As my knife got closer to the centre the state between solid and liquid became more fluid and even Vincent was dying to taste some. At the last second he backed off, as he became aware of just a tiny hint of this cheese's awesome power. I had spread the bread with some and decided that bread would probably calm and subdue this fantastic cheese, even add a kind of bread taste, so I quickly glanced around and when I was sure that nobody could see me I licked it off the knife.